Disclaimer © as and when, today, tomorrow, who knows, even neutrinos may travel faster these days! Can be read, but not necessarily understood, on an browser on any platform (yes, even an iPhone, but it is definitely not recommended, the self proclaimed gods at Apple may have something to say!)
In most cases these documents suck!
So does this one!!
But not as much as most!!!
Please keep that in mind and read on...

This website, owned by Bill Trewick, hereinafter referred to as I, or anyone else who may be tempted to adopt the name, does not intend to educate, inform or otherwise be of any use at all - basically it just hogs minor amounts of bandwidth & server space, the concept of being of use never crossed a single neural pathway of mine when I was designing the site - if you do find anything remotely useful either 1. Keep it to yourself (no-one else would understand - they would lock you up for having such radical thoughts) or 2. Tell me and I will immediately remove the offending content... nothing beyond the next words will have any relevance to any real, unreal or otherwise imaginary person, occurrence, place or time at all, ask someone else they can probably prove it, please don't ask me to, I gave up long ago. The full text can be read in a pamphlet somewhere, probably, I cannot prove or disprove this statement... again, please do not ask me to prove this, I can't it's up to you from here on in... GOOD LUCK!

There are no implicit warnings or scary bits in this disclaimer so you could stop reading now... to be honest I've read it once and haven't again since, but please be patient another one will come along shortly!

No animals, humans or otherwise sentient, non-sentient or remotely interesting thing, being or other entity or non-entity was harmed, effected or asked for a comment during the making of this or any associated product, all vegetable products are tested prior to use, but only safely… no animal testing was used to test the product, a few unlucky humans have been severely effected by reading the ingredients, but they had a choice so hard luck! No batteries included, no batteries needed, no batteries injured, can be powered using solar panels, wind power is good but not a specific requirement. All images contained within the site content are intended to at least be colourful, unless they are black and white, if at first they seem to have no relevance you have probably got the point and should consider becoming an art critic, but don't give up, squint, it works sometimes. Contains no "e" numbers (the letter "e" appears by prior arrangement with other members of the alphabet, all of whom are represented except possibly "z"), hydrogenated or non-hydrogenated fats, green chewy bits, caffeine, vitamins, herbs, calories or anything remotely good for you at all. Printed on recycled media. There probably was a UFO crash at Roswell, but THEY covered it up... If symptoms persist consult the person who first gave you the injection. If the screen goes fuzzy at any time, don't worry, this is entirely normal - it means YOU ARE BEING WATCHED, run away now. THEY cannot prove anything (except the Roswell Incident) THEY know who they are! If the product develops mould do not dispose of it in the normal way, nurture it, one day it may be your friend. An occasional dose of plant feed would help the trees. No timewasters, bill posters, fish products, proof (positive or negative), reasons to be cheerful, pink fluffy clouds, Wet Wet Wet lyrics, soft bits or un-licensed software should be used with this product. May contain nuts but I have no idea how they got there. Other licensing restrictions apply. Black is the new black, white never stood a chance really, we all knew that, but no-one would commit themselves. Dispose of in a responsible way... do not feed to the animals. I reserve the right to make changes to the website anytime in the future, including but not limited to, changing the rules, the colours, the text, the content, the number of variations (usually posted as 57), changing any part of the website, closing the website, throwing the website away, restarting the website or starting a different website somewhere else or sometime else, leaving the website alone, changing the website in alternate realities, changing the laws of physics, or just plain changing the outcome either by fair means or foul, use of the time dilation effect or an eraser. I am free to do whatever I want to, so are you, up to a point, be it day or night, rain or shine, in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer, and we are/I am under no obligation, in fact, less than "no obligation", to anyone for anything at anytime, as to what I may or may not decide to do regarding the functioning of the website. I shall not be held responsible for the actions of "Friends" or any other person, acquaintance or non-acquaintance, who use the website to bring harm, cheat, steal, pilfer, swindle, defraud, terrorize, belittle, insult, offend, victimize, conquer foreign nations, hammer, batter, thrash, pummel or flog their neighbor or their neighbors goat or who use printed out versions of the website for arson, subversive political actions, building international spy rings, fertilizer for growing illegal drugs, and any other such action that would cause harm to the universe or anything or anyone (Living or Dead) residing in it, on it or at some point just above it, or below it or to one side (either side). I and all other related parties shall not be liable for any damages, either direct or indirect, including but not limited to lost profits, lost savings, divorce, required, unrequired or illegal surgery performed on, above or below the equator (geodetic latitude 0° 0' 0"), and any other damages, either material or immaterial, arising from the use, non-use, or from the inability to use, the pages on this website. Void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Terms are subject to change without notice. Action figures sold separately. Models of the TARDIS are optional extras but can be ordered at any time – remember size does matter, "it's bigger on the inside". Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit (that’s hot). Your mileage may vary. Value of shares can go up or down. No preservatives added, nothing taken away. Safety goggles should be worn during use, only use ear defenders if the instructions are delivered by audio. I am not responsible for misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God or natural occurrence (if you, like me, are a non-believer), neglect, damage from improper use, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized use, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.), plus any foreseen, unforeseen, seen, or unseen events of any kind.

Beware of the dog, cat, wombat, alligator... your choice.

Hey, well done you... you made it, the end, well except for the end bits at the bottom...

 
Bill Trewick – I, remember? (Note - this does not constitute an electronic signature, it is just a name!) This is not meant to be inspirational in any way – other, more learned, people claim to do that, some of them do… some don’t, more later.

© see above